Adolescent Health

How to support your adolescent son or daughter

If you are like most parents who have an adolescent at home, most probably you feel you have done good work as a parent until the onset of puberty. That is when you can wonder if this is actually the same child that you knew before.

There are so many transitions in adolescence. Children today face too much pressure to grow up too fast.

There are many changes for an adolescent these days. Today adolescents face more and more pressure. The media, television, movies and the music industry have distorted the perceptions of our children about what is popular and have influenced our children to mature early. The world has changed since we were their age. But, just as our parents felt, now we feel that we do not understand the new generation>

With certain complex emotions set off by hormones and with the impressive array of options that adolescents face today, more than ever they need the help of their parents. But how can we help them? Many parents say things like "My adolescent doesn't want to talk with me" or "I feel old-fashioned when I talk with my son/daughter."

Here are some ideas that may be useful:

• Find out what your children are doing. Ask them about what they like to do. Try to understand their culture. Listen to their music and watch television with them or go to a concert that they choose. This is not to relive your youth with your children but to keep up with the things that interest your children.
• Spend time with your adolescent son or daughter. Put your children on your agenda. Do something they like to do. Let them invite a friend and go out as a family.
• Motivate and support your adolescent children. Tell them that you believe in them and support the decisions they make.
• Let them make their own decisions. Have faith that the values you have taught your children are still there.
• Don't be afraid that they will make mistakes. Sometimes we learn more from mistakes than from triumphs.
• Get involved in school activities. Go and watch them play football or tennis. Attend parent's meetings. Show your interest.
• Don't be afraid to answer their questions. Talk about difficult subjects like sex or drugs.
• Don't let yourself be swayed. Don't let your adolescent convince you not to do things together.
• Don't ridicule your children in front of their friends.
• Tell your children that you love them.

Substance Abuse in Adolescents

Risk Factors and Protective Factors

The associated factors that favor a greater use of drugs are called "risk factors" and factors that favor a lesser use of drugs the use of drugs are called "protective factors." Some risk factors for the use of drugs are:

• Chaotic atmosphere at home, particularly where the parents abuse substances or suffer from mental illness.
• Ineffective parents who cannot get along with their own children or teenagers whose temperament is difficult or who have some behavior disorder.
• Loss of friends or lack of personal relationships.

Other risk factors are related to children interacting with other socializing agents outside the family, specifically, school, adolescents of the same age and the community. Some of these factors are:

• Inappropriate, timid and aggressive behavior in the classroom.
• Problems in school behavior.
• Incorrect social skills.
• Affiliation with adolescents with non-standard [behavior].
• Perception of approval of the use of behavior that uses drugs at school by groups of friends and by the community environment.

Protective Factors

Certain protective factors have been identified. These factors are not always the opposite of the risk factors. Their impact on the development process also varies. The most notable factors include:

• Strong family relationships.
• Clear behavior rules within the family unit, involving parents in their children's lives.
• Success in school.
• Strong relationships in institutions such as family, school and religious organizations.
• Adoption of conventional standards on the use of drugs.

Other factors-such as the use of drugs, patterns of use and beliefs about the generally tolerated use of drugs-also strongly influence the number of young people who begin to use drugs.

Periods of High Risk For Adolescent Use of Drugs

Research has shown that for many adolescents, the most difficult periods of time are age transitions, that is, when they change from one stage of development to another.

The first important transition for children is when they leave the security of the family and begin school. When they go from primary school to secondary or high school, they generally face social challenges such as dealing with a larger group of adolescents. In this stage, called early adolescence, adolescents may face the use of drugs for the first time.

After, when they enter high school, young people face social, psychological and educational challenges as they prepare for the future and these challenges can lead to the use and abuse of alcohol, tobacco and other drugs.

When young adults start college or get married, they face new risks of drug and alcohol abuse in their new environments.

Signs Indicating That Your Adolescent Might Have a Problem With Drugs or Alcohol:

• Regularly using drugs or drinking alcohol.
• Lying about things.
• Avoiding you or other people.
• Stopping activities that they did before, such as sports, homework or being with their friends who do not use drugs or drink.
• Pressuring others to drink or use drugs.
• Having problems with the law.
• Taking risks, including sexual risks, and driving under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs.
• Feeling depressed, discouraged and suicidal.
• Suspension from school due to an alcohol or drug-related incident.
• Missing work or poor school performance.

Many of the signs, such as mood changes, difficulty relating to others, poor performance at work or school, irritability and depression, may be explained by other causes.

Unless you observe excessive use of drugs or drink, it may be difficult to determine the cause of these problems. First, contact someone who is a professional in the area who can advise you about your adolescent's problem.

Types of Use

Experimental Use

In this stage, people are merely curious about drugs and their effects. A person may only wish to experiment or take advantage of what is there. Satisfying this curiosity may not lead to continual use or occasional use when there is access to the drug.

Social Use

If a person goes beyond experimentation, the next level involves more planning and focus (and money) than the previous stage. In all, use tends to be casual, mainly in social situations, and the use of drugs in this stage does not affect a person's functioning in daily activities.

Regular Use

Here the use of drugs is daily or almost daily. Preoccupation with the quality and effects of drugs is notable, as is the degree of incapacity they cause. Daily functioning becomes more difficult for this person. Responsibilities are not fulfilled and interpersonal relationships may be affected and deteriorate.

Psychological/Physical Dependency

In this stage there does exist daily use of drugs and there is physical and/or psychological addiction. Disability is clearly evident. The user's functionality is clearly affected and the ability to remain in school or to work is placed in doubt. The few friends who still remain are also users. Police and court systems are involved.

Why Do Adolescents Experiment?

Once you understand the reasons why adolescents become involved with chemicals, you are on the way to giving them help, offering them alternatives to drugs and alcohol.

Curiosity

Young people tend to be very withdrawn (and fascinated by) activities that are prohibited. And adolescents tend to be more vulnerable if they do not have sufficient information.

Feeling Socially Included

Wanting to be accepted is a great need in all of us. Therefore, it is natural for adolescents to want their own friends to accept them. It is part of feeling a social balance. They also want to learn what is appropriate in different social situations. Sometimes, this means doing what everyone is doing.

Difficulty in Managing Strong Feelings

Many times we feel that our feelings are mixed up or confused and adolescents generally feel that way more often than adults do. It is not abnormal that they feel embarrassed, out of control and tortured by these feelings. In addition, to complicate their lives further, adolescents also have the additional pressure of their own friends, which means a need to appear to be in fashion and appear to be in control of all situations.

Feeling Adult, Establishing a Separate Identity

The main development task in the adolescent years is to develop a sense of being a real and complete person, a person who can be independent financially and emotionally without depending on parents. Drugs and alcohol may symbolize this struggle.

Drinking or smoking marijuana with friends can seem to be an act of independence from their parents or intimacy with their friends. When a young person feels overwhelmed by the imagined or real demands of independence, drugs can temporarily dispel these fears.

Filling Leisure Time/Having a Good Time or Being Adventuresome

Sometimes it is difficult for parents to take these needs seriously. The time you devote to their needs also seems to be limited and no fun. But the need to feel emotionally liberated--a combination of excitement and pleasure--is a real need for most people.

Resources

Each community has its own resources. Some sources of resources that are listed in the telephone directory and that you can use are:

• Help [lines] to stop using drugs
• Emergency health clinics or community treatment services
• Local health departments
• Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous or Al-Anon/Alateen
• Hospitals